Sunday, April 04, 2010

Answers...

Lot of life around us,
And sometimes we choose to be a spectator,
May be not sometimes

Full bloom all around,
Winter gave way to the spring,
Got sucked into a pure bliss,
will it stay for good ?

Then i wake up,
Realising it aint going to be so,
Does that make me appreciate less,
I didn't think so

Vengeance,
Surely takes u down unknown paths,
End of a dark alley, and nowhere else to go,
It kicks in, What have i done !

May be i liked it ...
May be i wanted it ..
In the end,
Staying a spectator is not all that bad

May be that is the only way to do it !
Silence works wonders, when words fail to perform

To understand aint a gift,
It just takes some pursuance

Monday, February 08, 2010

ldiot

A quite familiar state i must say
Having been there not so long ago
A haphazard rush of adrenalin,
Its anger you idiot, the heart murmurs,
Alternating forms begin to flow in
starts with a smirk
A couple of witty phrases here and there,
when i think am almost done, a small hope is reignited, bollocks,
And then the laughing routine begins,
The little idiot lazing in my head knows it all too well !

Sunset, and am still searching for my reflection
on the fierce waves, trying to hold my ground.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Helpless

Pissed off i was, at myself, for not doing a thing ! I stood waiting, listening to all the stupid crap and amateurish ramble ! Somehow, the sorrow of near-ones manages to creep into u altering itself as rage!

Reason, a very essential part to start off a conflict, and choosing the right one, makes a lot of difference! But then, should i fight others battles, just to make peace with myself, or may be i can lay there just as a support ?

Friday, December 12, 2008

Memories

Things were going on as usual .. and one fine day, it wasn't the same anymore !

People live their lives with some dreams .. and some memories which make them move ahead .. So what if, things weren't the way they appeared ? .. You suddenly realize that nothin was rite .. or it might not be rite.

The perception was different, so u want to go back, dig the truth ! But what the hell is that goin to change, except the fact, that you will be taken aback if ur intuition was right or else, will carry on living the same life ! But, some how the feelin never extinguishes, the feeling of guilty, clinging on to the state of happiness, based on frivilous memories.

The correctness is always questionable, given whatever situation it is ! Falling back on your past, when u cant c a future ? Or, you know what the future holds for you and u still are in no state to accpet it ! May be comparitively speaking or absolutly, you dont want the given future, and hope .. just hope with all ur guts .. all ur faith .. while exhaling all the air filled in ur maxed-out lungs .. that the past some how tweaks back and knocks on ur door.

.hg

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Missing Myself

Thoughts go back .. almost always,
As if i don't have any control.

May be there is something I could have done,
If only i could have guessed it or seen it coming,
A complete phase of carelessness, was it ?

Find it hard to believe what i did not do,
Thinking back now !

May be i should have stuck on,
Or is it that i was too much over-confident.

I will never know.
Only that it would have been much much different, life
Still don't know, whether for good or bad !

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

The journey

A sunday night trip from Delhi to Milan.

From the last time experience, I went all prepared to stand in the long queues in the airport, sticking to the rules and hence 3 hrs in advance! ohk ..ohk .. may be not 3.. but almost 2 ! and then that very day.. ppl decided to stay home and leave me to dispair ! :( .. I was through with all the baggage, security and immigration check .. in .. 15 mins ! ... and now i wait ! .. it lasted for 5 mins before i got bored and started calling ppl ! .. as usual dasa did not pick up! .. and the last call was to zutty ! and hence the entry !

And then the waitress called out the rows who are supposed to board and i was in, in no time.. waiting on my seat eagerly for my seatmates :P .. after 20 mins a bangaldeshi family showed up to thoos my hopes into dispair :( .. so the journey began ! .. around 30 mins after the flight tookoff the airhostess came offering strictly vegetarian food which was, u can say, the best part of my whole journey.

By the time i woke up, we were preparing to land in amsterdam and was offered a coffee. Late by 10 mins, was all that the pilot said! so far so good ! Suddenly i realised i had to catch the connecting flight in another 40 mins. Thought that was enuf !

Ran to reach the furthermost terminal in the amsterdam airport to catch my flight to milan (too many to's) .. there was also a special short connecting time security check for ppl like us in the Aport. Some stupid drunk bum talked rashly to the airport staff, after which within no time 10+ cops totally surrounded that poor passenger. Lucky that no one understood what language he spoke, so they let him go with a warning. Well as soon as the security check, ran ..ran hard .. ran hardest .. reached in time .. as in ... 5 mins to takeoff :P .. The staff politely told me that, ur luggage is still in the Delhi flight, so u have to take a rerouted flight.

So, there i was sweatin and all at 4:30 Eu time ... (with local temp. of 10 deg), but i guess the airport had its own temp control :P .. anywaz, got my rerouted flight via paris which was after 5 hrs! ... btw, these curtius staff ppl, gave me a calling card to inform ppl that im running late! .. so did that.. and then began to watch Jaane tu Jaane na ! (lappy mein ...:P )

Took the flight and reached Paris, only to notice that ..i again have only 1 hr time to change flights and this time no short connection security check ! :( .. and i was soo lucky that the flight arrived in the peak hrs (10 am), so had an infi long queue! But this time somehow managed to reach the terminal 15 mins in advance! Relieved i felt ..

So, fastforward .. and then im in Milan .. waiting for my bags ..waiting ..waiting .. and then i realised the name of the airline was no longer listed in the baggage claim screen ! :( :(.. So, after 40 mins of waiting, got to the window of lost and found and the moment i said "I am coming from Delhi, India" the woman in the cabin asked me wether my name was "Mr. Lanka ?" :( ! again, politely mentioned that baggage was left behind in Paris, and it might reach tommorow! .. So after roughly wasting 7 hours, i reached milan .. without the baggage, which was the reason in the first place why i was late ! :( ..

And then i come out of the airport to find out that the assigned pickup also left (as i was waiting for my baggage, and then in lost and found queue) just 5 mins back! .. With no active mobile connection, with no coins to call (had only currency notes) I was standing in the waiting area, thinking what to do :) ..

In 5 mins, the pickup was back, mentioned that his boss told him to wait for min. 2 hrs, so had to come back ! :) .. So in the entire journey, the only good thing after that vegetarian dinner was this ! Ek dum lamba umar do bhagwaan to his boss :) ..

Monday, September 08, 2008

here.. waiting..

blank !

I keep thinking what is that one thing i want to do before i leave! the one thing for which i would die for ... and then i keep thinking :) .. Living it this way.. dont know whether it is rite or not ! If not, what is the rite way ?

Time.. is all that i had these last couple of days ! .. its been almost two years since i spend an entire day watching movies! Felt good, but somehow, did not feel the same ! may be i was searching for something that is long gone! Passion .. ! travelling .. rides ... and then i stare further towards this stupid white and yellow lines on the wall !

Time alone.. time with yourself ! .. confusion never stops ! I began to notice the small things that life offers ! the dust particles hanging on.. dancing.. visible for only those few moments of sunrise and sunset through the small pores of my semi closed window drapes !

How loud can a 10% volume on my laptop sound in the silence of night.. and then those stupid Portuguese who complain abt the music at this late hour to the reception ! :)

Felt surprised, when i woke up at 7 in the morning continuously for the last 1 week even before the alarm in my cell went off. Do i like the work ? .. Yes i do !.. but is this it ? ..why am i searching ..waiting for something else ? A strangely weird feeling to be alone in a crowd !

Angry .. may be ! But a continuous state of anger is no good :P ..